7 Guidelines for Healthy Conflict Resolution - Gain Peace through Pain

There is a group of girlfriends whom I’ve known for a few decades and are like sisters; recently a couple of those friends had conflict and miscommunication…

And it affected the friendships of the entire group.

Has this ever happened to you? 

This occurs in every type of relationship, family, work, marriage, and every type of relationship you can think of.

People you love don’t see eye to eye...then expect you to take sides? 

Do you “dig in your heels” or address the issue head-on?

Here are 7  guidelines to share with those you love and for you, if you are the one coming up against the challenge.  

1. Consider WHAT is upsetting you and WHY. Once you look in the mirror and identify your part, then contact that person DIRECTLY and resolve it!  Avoid victim mentality - you don't have to be stuck in this circumstance! Avoid passive-aggressive behavior – others cannot read your mind!
2. Respect the courage it takes. If someone musters up that courage and pushes their pride aside to resolve a dispute, then have the courtesy to hear them out.    
3. Say you're sorry for whatever part you played...own your piece of the pie.
4. Only speak for yourself. We own only our own words and actions. DO NOT speak for someone else. If an individual says something about another person, unless it is that they are amazing and wonderful, then it is not your place to relay the message…go back to #1.
5. Do not “shun” someone on behalf of another person because when they make up you’ll look like an idiot. Trust me: been there, done that, not good.
6. Face the real heart of the issue. Do not get “hammered” then decide to do #1. A lot of damage has been done when someone gets intoxicated then says and does things that hurt another and the next day have no recollection of it. Sound familiar?
7. Don’t project your “stuff” onto other people. You may have ideas of what you think someone else should want, but they may not feel the same way…respect that and listen.

Time may heal most wounds…

...but they heal faster if the hurt is addressed with respect. 

If you love someone, it is worth it!

To summarize:

• Organize your thoughts and feelings -- write it down.
• Take responsibility for your part.
• Pick up the phone or send an email to get together as soon as possible – Make this a Priority!
• Say you’re sorry!
• Makeup and find a resolution.

This can be difficult, however, at the end of the day, this life is about relationships. If you care about someone, take these steps and it will pay off. Share this with someone who may be hurting. 

What else would you add to the list? Comment and let me know!