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We Can Only “Fix” Ourselves

relationships selfcare
Woman with blanket wrapped around shoulders at base of Lake Morraine.

Back when I was single, I found myself in more than one relationship, where I was constantly thinking,

“He needs to change.”

“He just needs to be more expressive…, more affectionate..., listen better..., be more responsible…

On and On!

Everything was about how the other person needed to improve. 

Then, one day, I realized that the only person I could change was me; all the effort I was expending (on him) was futile. 

When I started putting energy into “fixing” myself instead of other people, I began to enjoy life more.

And amazingly, healthy relationships started showing up “coincidentally” in my life.

Now the idea of “fixing/changing” someone applies not only to romantic relationships but also in any other relationship. 

Aren’t there times, though, when we feel frustrated about how our children, mother, father, in-laws, or some friends act?  When we are frustrated, don’t we find it easy to point the finger constantly at them, discussing or thinking...

how things would be so much better, if only...they were different? 

That is the perfect time to point the finger in our own direction, and ask ourselves… can I be different?

 The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different result.  What if we stopped and asked ourselves, 

“Why am I the way I am?” 

After Banging My Head Over and Over...Then What?

Immerse yourself in taking care of you to be the best that you can be. 

  • Read/listen to personal development content
  • Check out podcasts that add value to your life.
  • Participate in seminars or retreats.
  • Seek counseling, and/or join a small group at church. 

Wayne Dyer, a self- help guru, says, “When you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change.” 

It takes a lot of courage to address our own issues, but it is so worth it!

We’re all a work in progress, so we’re never finished growing and improving. When we take charge of ourselves, it is an amazing, empowering feeling - and it may surprise us to find out that all those others that we used to try to “fix,” suddenly have changed

What if we all could be at peace with who we are? How much better our world and relationships could be!

I would love to hear from you,  leave a comment sharing or connect on Facebook or Instagram with your thoughts…

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