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All Gave Some, Some Gave All

Uncategorized May 27, 2020

Our plane landed and taxied to the terminal. All of us passengers were scrambling to get our mobile devices turned on and synced up so we could see what we missed while in flight. So much can happen in those two hours, right?

As we approached the gate, the flight attendant stood up to provide, what I thought were, the standard announcements. I wasn’t really paying attention until she said: 

We have a fallen soldier on board with us, and so we ask that everyone please remain seated until the Military Officers deplane.”

Everyone on the flight went silent. 

I felt as though someone punched me in the stomach; my iPhone almost fell to the ground as I realized how insignificant those emails and texts were at this moment.

I looked out the window and saw a van with a trailer behind it painted with the American flag and it said: “All Gave Some, Some Gave All.” Those words were so loud in my head...

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Kindness, A Priceless Gift

Uncategorized May 20, 2020

While visiting my friend who volunteers at the dog rescue, I noticed a lady with a walker who seemed to be shuffling around by herself. She was a bit disheveled and appeared to be seeking some kind of fulfillment from the animals.

As I sat on a bench, I could see her out of the corner of my eye standing all alone...so I looked over and asked her to join me. Her name was Barb and we “chit chatted” about how much we love dogs while we watched some of them play in one of the fields.  

We parted ways and then I saw her leaving and went to say GoodBye. She looked me in the eye and said: “Thank you for talking and hanging out with me.” I told her it was my pleasure and how much I enjoyed talking with her. 

I don’t know Barb’s story...but that look said so much.

As human beings, one of the core yearnings we have is to feel appreciated and believe that we matter. Words of praise and...

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What is your bliss?

Uncategorized May 13, 2020

 

It is a brisk morning; the sun radiates its warmth on my face. My body is in a rhythm as I hit mile two of my run. 

A favorite song of mine blasts through my earbuds, my pace picks up as I get lost in the music. It is a feeling of pure bliss! 

Memories flashback to my life when all I had to do was take care of myself. Running was such a big part of my life. I realize how much I miss this piece of me. Do you ever feel this way, too?

What is your bliss? The activities that brought you delight have been pushed aside by family, career, and other obligations. Of course, you love your family, and a twinge of guilt kicks in; however, there’s a void that you can’t put your finger on. 

Your mind is so cluttered with all the “noise” of life that you aren’t even conscious of the fact that you haven’t taken a moment to indulge in something that is just for you.

Was there a time when taking...

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State of Mind - Real or Imagined?

Uncategorized May 05, 2020

 

We had been visiting family who enjoys having the news on as “background” noise. Stories of murders, rapes, robberies, conflict, and all the normal ugliness played, and I tried my best to tune it out.

When we returned to our own home, I took our dog, Bella, for a walk. As she and I strolled down the street, a van was heading toward us.  I watched with trepidation…

The van slowed down, two men jumped out, grabbed me, and dragged me into the side door. My dog tried to defend me but they kicked her and then took off. My heart was beating and I began to sweat! 

...Suddenly, Bella yanked my arm trying to chase a squirrel and I snapped out of the trance-like state of envisioning this awful event.

Has your mind ever envisioned a horrific event? 

Maybe you watch a reality show about significant others cheating and you start looking at your partner with suspicion…

Or you watch a...

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Is It Worth It?

Uncategorized Apr 29, 2020

It was our first move together as a married couple. 

He’s an engineer; I’m a bit of a “Type A”…ok quite a bit. 

My past moves consisted of staying up all night unpacking to the point of looking like I had lived there for years.  Now here I am with the love of my life and he is measuring every which way before hanging one picture!

My veins are ready to pop out of my forehead. I tell him to hold up the picture, “eyeball it”, scratch a mark with my fingernail, hammer the nail, and then “boom” hang the picture. Done in three minutes.

He thinks that is absurd. And now he understands why my previous home had so many holes in the walls. I insist that is irrelevant because the picture covers those mistake holes and there weren’t THAT many! 

His opinion is that it should be done right the first time even if it takes longer. Oh Boy, this is getting ugly…

...

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We Can Only “Fix” Ourselves

Uncategorized Apr 22, 2020

Back when I was single, I found myself in more than one relationship, where I was constantly thinking,

“He needs to change.”

“He just needs to be more expressive…, ...be more affectionate..., listen better..., be more responsible…

On and On!

Everything was about how the other person needed to improve. 

Then, one day, I realized that the only person I could change was me; all the effort I was expending (on him) was futile. 

When I started putting energy into “fixing” myself instead of other people, I began to enjoy life more.

And amazingly, healthy relationships started showing up “coincidentally” in my life.

Now the idea of “fixing/changing” someone applies not only to romantic relationships, but also in any other relationship. 

Aren’t there times, though, when we feel frustrated about how our children, mother, father, in-laws, or some friends act?  When we are...

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Feeling Inadequate

Uncategorized Apr 15, 2020

It’s 3:00 a.m. just 20 minutes from the last time I looked! My mind races with thoughts of overwhelming anxiety and feelings of inadequacy.

A close friend offered me an amazing opportunity to work on a project with one of her large clients. I was flattered, especially since I haven’t worked in the field that was her company’s specialty, and I had no experience in the position. She was brave to hire me and must have confidence in my abilities, right? 

Was it normal to have the jitters the night before Day 1? What have I gotten myself into? 

...she must have made a mistake...

The Things That Keep Us Up At Night 

Has this ever happened to you? If you have children then you can likely relate.Remember that first night home with your baby?

Or on another note, the time you agreed to take on a lead role in a project or organization. Perhaps you’ve gone back to school after taking time off. You agreed to speak at an event. 

Whatever the...

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Take the High Road – A Lesson from 9th Grade

Uncategorized Apr 08, 2020

The memory is as vivid as if it were yesterday.  Lisa Carlucci shared with me that she and Tony Romano (can you tell I’m from the Northeast?)  had gone to “first base”. When she told me, she specifically asked me to keep it to myself. 

The next day, I happened to be in a situation where another classmate, Kimberly, and I were together. We were talking and she asked me how Lisa and Tony were doing…I couldn’t help myself! Yes, I did it…I divulged Lisa’s secret… 

...But of course, I let Kimberly know that I was sharing in the utmost confidence, and that she needed to keep this information to herself, as well...

What do you think happened? 

You guessed it. 

The next thing I knew, “everyone” at school was whispering about Lisa and Tony. Lisa’s reputation was irreversibly tainted - and I lost a friend. I’ll never forget the look in her eyes when she confronted me; I still...

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You are a Leader, whether you want to be or not:)

Uncategorized Apr 01, 2020

If you buy into the idea that leadership is influence, then we are all leaders, right?  Whether you are employed or at home, working as a mother, father, friend, brother, or sister, you are exercising leadership. One does not have to be in a place of management or oversight to be a leader; leadership is a matter of perspective.

“Belief Drives Behavior”

In order to influence others, we must lead ourselves first. Think for a moment about the various areas of life such as relationships, career, health, finances, spiritual life, and volunteerism, where opportunities to lead often arise. 

Looking inwardly, how does your  behavior model what we think is important in leadership?   What kind of leader are you and how well do you exhibit leadership in all areas of your life? 

You will not be perfect every day, in every facet of life, but you and I are all works in progress. The key is, are you satisfied with where you are today and are you...

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The Secret Sauce for Giving and Receiving Feedback

Uncategorized Mar 23, 2020

I wrote an article and shared it with a friend, who I’ve known for years, and asked her for feedback. 

She’s very opinionated and forthright, which I appreciate. 

Although her response was pretty tough, she pointed out deficiencies and said that she prided herself on giving the truth. 

That was great, but when I sent the revisions, she again pointed out only areas that she thought fell short. 

It seemed like I couldn’t do anything correctly. 

Criticism is fine, but usually there’s at least one encouraging remark. After that interaction, all the disapproval took a toll.

I just felt like giving up. 

That triggered me to think about how many times I’ve been so truthful.  

Have I made anyone else feel like they can’t do anything right? I sure hope not, but in reality, I probably have more than I’d like to think.

Has This Ever Happened to You? 

Your spouse, friend, co-worker, boss, family member, or...

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